34 Reasons Why Canada Sucks

Canada is the worst!

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  1. Canada Sucks
  2. The country is called Canada.
  3. The typical Canadian smells like moose turds – yuck!
  4. Canadians fart in each others mouths.
  5. The flag is literally a leaf! What a joke.
  6. Third world countries like Canada are literally gross.
  7. Their stock market has had worse returns than Enron.
  8. 99% of Canada doesn’t have running water.
  9. Half the country speaks French (gross).
  10. The country uses Sedar which is literally the oldest site on the internet.
  11. Justin Trudeau has been caught wanking at least five times in Bed Bath & Beyond.
  12. Canada enslaves penguins and uses them for manual labor.
  13. Vancouver.
  14. Canadian females smell like snow.
  15. The slogan of Canada is “eh”.
  16. Canadians let the tribes push them around – can’t even get a stupid pipeline built!
  17. If you say Canada really slow it sounds like stupid idiot.
  18. Violent J, from the Insane Clown Posse, has higher IQ than all of Canada.
  19. The Venture Exchange is filled with mining frauds and dumb penny stocks.
  20. Canada Day is dumb.
  21. Males in Canada have to use Viagra to mate.
  22. Canada started World War 2.
  23. Every serial killer to ever exist was born in Canada.
  24. Their healthcare system is horrendous.
  25. Every company that goes public in Canada eventually goes bankrupt.
  26. 90% of Canada’s GDP comes from the adult film industry.
  27. You have to wear a gas mask in Canada. If you don’t you will get HIV.
  28. If you spell Canada backwards it spells Sucker.
  29. All Canadians are soft and chubby.
  30. If you drink the water in Canada you will die (Canada Sucks).
  31. Average IQ of a Canadian is negative 69.
  32. Canadians last 3 seconds in bed.
  33. No one even knows where Canada is if you pull out a map.
  34. Canadians will sniff your butt when they meet you like a dog.



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