Ben Graham: ‘Go all in when a CEO tells the SEC to suck his doodle’

Elon Musk tells SEC to suck his cock

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In the breath taking book The Intelligent Investor, legendary investor Ben Graham tells his students to go all, in when a CEO of a public company tells the Securities and Exchange Commission (“SEC”) to suck their genitals.

“If the CEO of a company ever tells the Securities and Exchange Commission to suck his doodle, go all in on that stock,” Ben Graham wrote in chapter four of The Intelligent Investor.  “And I mean go all in.  Mortgage your house.  Sell your children to the Saudi’s.  Do anything you can to raise as much capital as you can.  Go all in.”

As history shows, anytime a CEO of a public company tells the SEC to suck their genitals, the stock, 100% of the time, rockets on the statement.

“We have back-tested this statement several times,” Lloyd Goldsmith of Back-Testing Heroes stated.  “Our models show a stock increasing in price 69% of the time after a blow job statement is made by a CEO.”

Later in Chapter Five Ben Graham advises his students to buy home builders and subsequently burn down homes to spur demand.  Graham further states that selling dime bags of weed to school children is one of the highest return on equity activities and investor can partake in.

“Burn houses, sell dime bags and get that money,” Graham states at the end of his book.

 



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