Fed begins purchasing Pokémon cards to provide liquidity to homeless millennials

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WASHINGTON – Emphasizing the importance of taking concrete steps to address the wealth inequality in the United States, the Federal Reserve reportedly announced Wednesday they will begin buying back Pokémon cards to provide liquidity to homeless millennials.

“Millennials across the nation are calling for a drastic change to address the ever-expanding wealth inequality,” said Chairman of the Federal Reserve Jerome Powell.  “We plan to address this issue by offering a window where millennials have the option of selling their Pokémon for a cash voucher.”

Pokémon the trading card game, peaked in 1997 when schools across the United States banned the cards.  Since then, millennials have hoarded their holographic Charizard’s in hopes of a resurgence in their popularity.

“We estimate an injection of $650 million into the pockets of millennials,” a spokesman for the Federal Reserve stated.  “This liquidity package will provide much needed liquidity for millennials and also free up valuable closet space.”

McKinsey estimates the value of the average Pokémon card will sell for a mere $0.25 cents.



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