Jerome Powell Assumes “Jay-P” Persona, Drops The Greenprint to Critical Acclaim

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Far from simply acting as the Federal Reserve chair, and steward to millionaires and billionaires round the globe, Jerome Powell has taken his first foray into the rap game. And in doing so, has taken over the airwaves with the de facto song of the summer.

In the latest FOMC minutes, Powell declared he would “rewrite the rules of thuganomics” with his upcoming release The Greenprint. He noted, “The Federal Reserve will use all the tools at its disposal to light it up, red-hot.”

And light it up they did. The titular track “Greenprint (Donny Loves Me)” was streamed over 7 trillion times on its first day of release – a virtually impossible milestone, indicating of the breadth of its popularity.

Hedge Fund Managers Praised Jerome Powell’s Rap Game

Hedge fund managers praised the album. One, requesting not to be named, noted that “Reading between the lines of Jay-P’s lyrics, you really get the sense he’s willing to print unlimited greenbacks to help protect our gai– uh, erm, sustain growth of the economy for the American people.”

Other tracks, such as “(I Got) The Ruler’s Back”, “Corporate Bond Takeover”, and “All I Need (Are Negative Rates)” were all received with near-universal critical acclaim. It garnered an 11/10 review on Pitchfork, its first ever, as the critic proclaimed, “Just as Jay-P has rewritten the rules of finance with this album, we too must rewrite our editorial standards.”

Jay-P’s next release is hotly anticipated by many, but not all are impressed. One two-bit huckster by the name of Jay-Z has claimed copyright infringement on the album’s material, and sent a largely ignored cease & desist to the Federal Reserve headquarters. Though with fans clamoring for more from the new king of hip-hop, it’s unlikely these claims will hold water.

The Greenprint, is available now on streaming services, 8-track, and solid gold vinyl LPs.

Jerome Powell Rap
Jerome Powell Rap: YouTube



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