PACIFIC PALISADES – In a show of amazing altruism, Ross Gerber, best known for being a virtue-signaling sissy, announced today that in support of Blacks Lives Matter, he has tinted the windows of his $100,000 Tesla black. This comes on the heels of Ross showing great sensitivity on Juneteenth Day by serving his lily-white employees a catered lunch of authentically racist BBQ.
When reached for comment, Ross Gerber stated, “Tinting my Tesla windows black provides me a way to show that Black Lives Matter without actually doing anything that actually matters – like hiring a minority to a management position in my firm. I was going to put a BLM sticker on the bumper, but there’s already so many stickers on there for LGBTQ+LMNOP, ESG, Climate Change, COEXIST, Hillary 2008, Obama 2012, Hillary 2016, Biden 2020, Space-X, and Tesla, I can barely see out the back window.”
Ross continued, “One thing I learned while earning my Communications degree is that saying things is a much more effective tool for change than actions. Actions are for people that don’t mind getting a callous or two on their hands. Look at these baby soft palms. You think these have ever seen a day of real work in their life? For crying out loud, I don’t even know how to put washer fluid in my Tesla!”
Tesla solidly over $1000 with the qtr end looming and the FUD attacks starting. Went by Tesla service to get some washer fluid. Couldn’t have been easier and the people could not be nicer. And it was busy. $tsla
— Ross Gerber (@GerberKawasaki) June 18, 2020