Pressure Pumpers Prepped for Pounding

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From the pits of West Texas to the peaks of Pittsburgh the Shale revolutions second largest workhorse is anxiously awaiting the next announcement that their services… are going to have to be cheaper!

“We really can’t work for free ”.. says Hugh Jass, District Manager Emeritus of LibeProAlliBerger.. “we pump all these 100% half cycle return cube developments and they’re screaming, look at our stock! Look at our stock! We can’t pay more due to ‘work intensity’ .. why wouldn’t I want less to work more?”

To get a sense of how this squeeze effects those closest to the wellhead, we spoke with Quantavius Ibrahim Lopez, IV – Pump Operator III a.k.a The Tick at LibeProAlliBerger:

“Maaaaaaan we can’t fix $h*t out here!” Mr Tick said. ‘We blow more trannys (Transmissions I learned) than a lot lizard on two buck Tuesdays.. bosses be screamin about pump times.. if we can’t get 23 hours rollin smoke a day we’re losing money !?”

With many E&Ps continuing to expand the core of the core, top tier, world class drilling locations. The bulk of the pumpers are willing to leverage anything they can to keep a little cash on hand.

‘Invoice factoring and 22% interest is really not that much risk when your working for solid names like Franky Tanky Oil Banky resources.’ Said Tonto Goldstein, MBA – Sand operator turned CFO. “I remember when I was attending my University of Phoenix online MBA program that any time I couldn’t make the math work I could just hit Alt, T-G and BOOM…25% EBITDA!”

Time will tell but the independent pressure pumping industry seems down, but not out in their quest for returned dominance of the fledging Stonk market.

Please check back in next week when we’ll do a deep dive into the sand and logistics corner of the pumping space where we will learn what it truly means to say: “ I’m Sandbox B!t*h!”

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Source of Featured Image: Sam Pumps



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