Getting COVID to sue your employer is the hot new trend. Just think about it. If you get COVID you can sue your employer for making you come to work. Suing your employer equals lots of money. Lots of money equals getting laid. Here are the top ways to get COVID so you can sue your employer for millions.
- Lick the palms of your hands constantly
- Drink toilet water
- Eat used face mask you find on the ground
- Jump in a pile of used syringes
- Suck on door handles
- Short Tesla
- Stuff dollar bills down your throat like it’s the Fourth of July and you are in a hot dog eating contest
- Chew on cigarette butts you find on the street
- Make out with strangers in the red light district
- Watch CNBC
- Find Alex Jones and tell him you are a liberal (spit will fly all over your face)
- Download TikTok
- Post a lame “thread” on Twitter like a dork
- Become an ESG investor
- Drink coffee with cream and sugar in it
- Lick car windows
- Become William Karaman
- Eat a bat
- Sleep inside of road kill
- Listen to anyone on CNBC talk
