Fake News

Crazed gorilla breaks out of the Detroit Zoo – Raping Visitors

Purgatory – yesterday afternoon a gorilla broke out of its cage at the Detroit Zoo and started raping visitors. Read that again…a gorilla broke out of its cage at the Detroit Zoo and raped visitors.

It was a horrific evening for anyone at the Zoo. According to bystanders a few drunken middle-aged women were making fun of a gorilla – calling it names like “stupid”, “butt-head” and “ugly fucking monkey”. When the middle-aged hags called the gorilla – and I quote – “a butt sucking faggot”, the gorilla went berserk, smashing the glass enclosed cage he was in with a boulder.

Before the drunken middle-aged women could do anything – the gorilla was violently raping them. The zoo proceeded to breakout into complete chaos. Children were screaming, women were running and men were trying to protect their wives vaginas from a pissed off gorilla on a rape spree.

All told, the gorilla raped 6,452 people at the zoo that day. But the violence didn’t end there. After the rape carnage of that gorilla, every single primate in the Detroit Zoo has broken out of their cells – going around the city of Detroit – raping and pillaging everything in sight.

The National Guard has been called to subdue the scene – with no luck thus far. The city of Detroit looks like a nuclear war ravished the once thriving metropolis.

The Gorilla says he wants payback for being locked up in a cage his whole life. He goes by the name Caesar. If anyone has seen this monkey contact authorities.



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