Fake News

Does Donald Trump Jr. Really Wear Pampers?

Donald_Trump_Jr

Source: Wikipedia

Major news sources around the world – CBS, Fox, CNN, etc. – are having a ball over the recent news surrounding Donald Trump Jr. No, it doesn’t have to do with the supposed Russian scandal. It also has nothing to do with his arrest and public drunkenness in the golden years of the early 2000’s. News sources around the world are raging about what Donald Trump Jr. was wearing the other day when he defended the Russia meeting.

Luis Garavito, of CNN, first noticed the subtle – yet distinct – undergarments that Donald Trump Jr. had on. Pampers from Huggies. Yes you heard that right. Donald Trump Jr. was wearing Huggies Pampers.

Inside sources have told us that Donald Trump Jr. has been wearing pampers his whole life – he’s just never been able to grow out of the pamper stage. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to use the bathroom like a grown adult – he just feels very comfortable wearing pampers.

“You would think I would be embarrassed knowing that the whole world knows I wear pampers. But I’m not. They are extremely comfortable. They don’t ride like traditional boxer briefs and if I need to use the bathroom and don’t have time to run to the washroom, I can always just shit or piss my pampers. It’s an extremely gratifying feeling knowing I have options.” – Donald Trump Jr (not really him dumb fuck )

There are persistent problems from his pamper wearing addiction. Vanessa Trump (Pamper Wearing Donald’s wife), says it’s extremely hard to get aroused – sexually – to a man who wears pampers.

“When I first found out he wore pampers I thought it was a joke – he has always been a guy with a goofy sense of humor. I realized it wasn’t a joke the more I got to know him. During the luscious lustful moments when we were first together, him wearing pampers didn’t hinder our sex life. However, the lustful days wore off fast. You would think I would have gotten use to seeing a grown man walking about his house in pampers. I haven’t. It’s extremely difficult to get sexually stimulated knowing there are dirty pampers in our bathroom garbage. We are seeing a relationship counselor two days a week now. I don’t know if I can be married to a pamper wearing man.” – Vanessa Trump (not really her ass fuck)

It doesn’t sound like Pamper Wearing Donald is going to change anytime soon. He has publically stated that he is not embarrassed about his pamper wearing habit and that wearing pampers does not affect his day-to-day life.

There a rumors circling around the internet saying pamper wearing Donald spends upwards of $1,000 per week on Little Snugglers Dry and Cozy Pampers. That’s a lot of money for regular common folk. Good thing he comes from the bourgeoisie class and not the proletariat – or else his family would be on the brink of insolvency.

We admire Pamper Wearing Donald and apparently so do other respected politicians. In fact, it looks like Pamper Wearing Donald has started a trend; with rumors that Marco Rubio, Susan Collins and John Boehner have all started wearing pampers themselves.

Kimberly-Clark (the company that owns Huggies) has started to ramp up pamper production with hopes that notable celebrities will start picking up the trend. Inside info has begun to circulate the internet – suggesting that Kimberly-Clark is making an extra-large pamper size to fit Kim Kardashian’s monstrous of an ass.

Many investors are betting the farm that the known Kim Kardashian will post a picture on her Instagram in a few weeks wearing pampers. Ahman Suradji, a social-economist, says if this happens, we will hit a tipping point in adult pamper wearing – where everyone and their mother will start wearing pampers.

Advertisements

1 reply »

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.