Business/Finance

15 reasons why you should consider a career on Wall Street

There are numerous reasons why you should consider a career on Wall Street. We have come up with 15 reasons why.

  1. You will make a lot of money: Guys (and girls) who work on Wall Street make a ton of money. Wall Street salaries (including bonuses) – according to this Democrat/anti-Wall Street site – averaged $433,500 in 2017. That is a whole lot of money. The average U.S. income is $48,150. You will effectively be richer than all your friends.
  2. You will get to go to fancy dinners: Ever since I started to work on Wall Street, I have been to countless fancy steak and seafood dinners. The best part is that it is paid on the company bill. I probably go out to a fancy diner three times a week.
  3. You will sound smart: Everyone in my family thinks I am a genius now that I work on Wall Street. During family get togethers everyone will ask you your advice on what the stock market will do. Don’t worry, you can say anything because they will take your untold Wall Street wisdom for granted. It is funny because I am not a genius and more average in the intelligence camp.
  4. Women will want you: Now that I work on Wall Street (and have a ton of money) chicks totally dig me. I can sleep around with as much women as I want because they know I am important and a big shot. So what if they are gold diggers. Just be aware what they are trying to do. If you are a female, you will have totally authority over who you date. You will be the most powerful female on the block.
  5. You get to live in a cool place: If you work on Wall Street you will likely live in a cool area like New York City, Los Angeles or Chicago. Those are badass cities to live in. All of you friends who don’t work on Wall Street will be stuck in shitty cities like Dayton, Ohio.
  6. Drugs: If you are into drugs like cocaine you are going to find a lot of friends on Wall Street. The great thing about drug habits if you can afford them, they are less likely to fuck your world up. Just don’t go crazy like Turney Duff
  7. You can now afford a badass sports car: Dude, you will be making $500K plus a year. You can buy whatever sports can you want now. Say goodbye to that Toyota Prius.
  8. Untold number of perks: If you work on Wall Street there will be an untold number of perks such as private clubs, gym memberships, fancy conferences, hot models at those fancy conferences, helicopter rides, sport outings, etc. Your friend working in the IT department at IBM will be so jealous when he sees you post a picture of 17 hot models by you at an ACDC concert hosted by a local Investment Bank.
  9. Investment opportunities: You will get the opportunity to learn about and invest in numerous investment ideas throughout your career. You will either make a lot of money, some money or lose money. It is most likely you will make a lot of money because you are a Wall Street genius.
  10. Retire early: With the amount of money you make so early in your career, it is very likely you will be able to retire early (30-40 years old). However, everyone on Wall Street has their number (what they need to retire) I have yet to see someone hit it – the allure of more money sucks everyone into working for decades.
  11. You will get to travel the world on the company bill: All my friends on Wall Street – including me – have traveled not only domestically but also internationally. I have done deals in Dubai. I have shaken hands with executives in London. I have traveled to every state in the U.S. for work.
  12. Fancy hotels: When you travel for work you get to stay in fancy hotels. Say goodbye to the Travel Lodge.
  13. Your list of contacts will grow: I have so many business cards of important people (CEOs, CFOs, COOs, Managing Directors, and even famous people) that I could quit my job and start my own consulting business. Every year I continue to be in the Wall Street game my contact list will continue to expand.
  14. Your friends at work will be rich: Having rich friends is always a positive. With rich friends you get to do cool rich people stuff – traveling to exotic areas with them, going to bachelor parties in crazy places, and eating out at fancy posh places.
  15. You will have a badass house: With a humongous salary, you will be able to afford the coolest, most posh place in the neighborhood. All of your friends back home will be jealous of your skyline view and private rooftop terrace.

 

Advertisements

2 replies »

  1. Wall Street is making you so much money that you are moonlighting on Stonkmarket. Yasssssssss!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.