Business/Finance

Oil and gas pipeline owner deliberately dumps oil into rivers

An oil and gas pipeline owner has vowed to create as much CO2 as he can and dump oil on Indian burial grounds.

An evil pipeline owner from Houston, Texas has made it his sole goal to create as much CO2 as he can.

The pipeline owner is 76-year-old Harry Bernstein. Harry is a self-made man who has made billions of dollars in the oil and gas industry. He started as a welder and moved his way up to becoming the CEO of one of the largest midstream pipeline companies in the world – Pipelines R’ Us.

Money used to be the sole object for Harry when he was younger. Now that Harry is a self-made billionaire money is not the rhyme or reason. Pissing off environmentalists is his new calling for life.

Those damn liberal fucktards,” Harry said angrily to us over a glass of hard whisky and a couple of smokes. “Them Green Party bastards don’t know one thing about the oil and gas industry. They are self-entitled know-it-alls who drive around in their fancy Priuses complaining about the oil and gas industry while Instagramming each other through Facetime.”

Harry told us back when he was first getting started in the oil and gas industry there was no such thing as a Green Party or an Indian Reservation. Now a days if his company wants to lay down some pipe everything is an Indian Reservation and everyone and their grandma is in the Green Party.

Harry believes that the oil and gas industry is going to die if the environmentalists continue down the way they are going. He believes in the next 20 years that cars will run on solar power and everything will be, and I quote, “powered by those fucking ugly wind towers”.

“I am going to fight fire with fire,” Harry said while taking a shot of whisky. “I have been going out to areas where my pipeline lays and shooting buckshot into it.”

That afternoon, we took a ride out to a pipeline that Harry owns that runs across a river. We shot forty rounds of buckshot into the pipeline and watched the oil drain right into the river. “That river flows right into the Indian Reservation,” Harry said smirking.

Harry’s next plan is to buy a few tons worth oil and light them on fire. “Send that CO2 into the atmosphere and watch those environmentalist squirm,” Harry said with a glare in his eye.

 

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