A Florida man in a Walmart chased people around the store with poop and kissed the poop like a snickers bar before being arrested by authorities.
Source: Smoking Gun
Bystanders of a local Walmart in southern Florida said a man raided the women’s bathroom for poop. A lady said that she was in the bathroom with her daughter when a distraught looking man busted in the stall next to her screaming incomprehensible words. Before she knew it, he had a fresh turd in his hand and proceeded to wave it around like a wand.
The Florida man continued his escapade with his new fresh brown friend outside of the bathroom in the local Walmart. The man started to chase innocent shoppers with the fresh turd.
“I didn’t know what was going on,” local Walmart shopper Cody Roland said. “I was just minding my own business then a man with a fresh turd started to chase me. I haven’t been that scared in ages.”
After chasing several individuals in the Walmart, the man started to kiss the turd.
“He was kissing the turd like it was a snickers bar,” local Walmart shopper Cody Roland told us. “It was the weirdest thing I have ever seen.”
The turd wizard was arrested this afternoon and is awaiting trial for disturbing the peace.
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Categories: Florida Man
So its a lesser charge? Than spitting 🤔hmm
Wow are you serious?
Of course it would have to be Florida. Time to move!
Get the hell out of there Travis!
Crabby much?
Who is crabby Jim?
What city was this? I have to know. Chuckled at your writing, by the way… new little brown friend…. turd wizard… hilarious!
Thanks for posting.
It was in Dade County. Thanks for reading. Glad you liked the writing darling.
😲
It shocked me too. I had to take my grandsons adderal when I found out because I didn’t want to go to sleep and have nightmares
Woul
d’ve been even funnier if turd owner sued turd thief for unauthorized and improper use of personal property, to ensure he feces the consequences. lol
Haha that would be funny if that happened. Maybe it did. It’s Florida after all
I nearly died laughing at this – your descriptions are hysterical. My humor has been shaped by raising 5 boys.
Hello Karen. I am so glad you liked reading this. Wow I used to have kids around the house too. Now I just have an old husband (who is crabby).
Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo
Wow I love South Park
sucker punch needed 🙂
Wow Brina (if that is really your name) that would be called violence. Wow so not cool
Mrs Doubtfire is hilarious 🤣
Sir,,,who is Mrs. Doubtfire? My husband (he is old) says that is a movie. Are you lost? This is a website about stonks
He’s talking about you Eloise. Sarcasm.
Wow,,,first off I am not Mr. Doubtfire. I am Eloise Williams (that is my name). Secondly I am not very good at being on the internet because it is for millienals and I am old.
It’s just an implication of what he thinks you look like, and that you are funny.
You’re not too old, he’s just a smartass.
Wow ok,,,,so I looked up Mrs Doubtfire and realize that’s a movie about a transvestite man who lives with children (wowwwww)?! So first off,,,I am a old lady (87) not a man who wears a dress,,,secondly,,,my name is Eloise Williams,,,that’s my name
Eloise, you are amazing. This is the first time I have read your comments. They are hilarious.
I wish I had a Grandma like you!
Wow,,,,that you sir. You are amazing too. You can be my grandchild if you want? I will knit you a sweater and a hat and also make cookies for you.
Eloise, let’s go grab a beer sometime!
OMG yes darling. Let’s grab a beer,,,,or ten. I can actually drink a lot (because I am a well-seasoned drunk). The last time I got really drunk (1953) I danced on the bar table to Elvis (he is hot). Then my husband (he wasn’t old and ugly at the time) took me back to the hotel to a night I will never forget. Oh wow, I might have to steal my grandson’s xanax pills now to calm myself down.
P.S. Jodi Smith
do you smoke weed? (i do) but don’t tell the cops ok?
Omg I love you. We need laughter is the world. Keep up the good work. 😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️❤️
Haha, I’m totally in. 🥳
Wow ok girl let’s do it? Do you want my social security number?
OMG Stephanie Stevens,,,,I love you too,,,since you are now my new grandchild.
Well yeah 😂😂😂
Oh my gosh, I love your humor!
Wow thanks Jenny. I have more humor in the future (unless I die soon). Hopefully my husband dies first though. I would love to bag me a 20 something hung hottie who doesn’t fall asleep after whoopie
Made it on ABC 7 news in Fort Meyers. If someone can send me the link I will pay you $500 bucks and 50 pounds of dog hair. These guys recap it on a podcast
U made my day. Please be my Nana.
Wow,,, thanks Stephanie Stevens. I am glad to have made your day. I would love to be your Nana. Would you like me to knit you a scarf or bake you some cookies?