A Florida man in a Walmart chased people around the store with poop and kissed the poop like a snickers bar before being arrested by authorities.
Bystanders of a local Walmart in southern Florida said a man raided the women’s bathroom for poop. A lady said that she was in the bathroom with her daughter when a distraught looking man busted in the stall next to her screaming incomprehensible words. Before she knew it, he had a fresh turd in his hand and proceeded to wave it around like a wand.
The Florida man continued his escapade with his new fresh brown friend outside of the bathroom in the local Walmart. The man started to chase innocent shoppers with the fresh turd.
“I didn’t know what was going on,” local Walmart shopper Cody Roland said. “I was just minding my own business then a man with a fresh turd started to chase me. I haven’t been that scared in ages.”
After chasing several individuals in the Walmart, the man started to kiss the turd.
“He was kissing the turd like it was a snickers bar,” local Walmart shopper Cody Roland told us. “It was the weirdest thing I have ever seen.”
The turd wizard was arrested this afternoon and is awaiting trial for disturbing the peace.
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Categories: Florida Man