Chicago – A man in Streeterville neighborhood of Chicago was arrested this morning for taking a dump off his balcony. Streeterville is a community of Chicago just north of the river. The neighborhood is known for its luxury apartments, the Lake Michigan shoreline and the Navy Pier. The man who took a dump off his condo in Streeterville is being held in custody awaiting trial for lewd behavior.
It was around 9 am central when unsuspecting Streeterville residents got an unwanted morning surprise from the 24th floor of a luxury high-rise. While many were getting in their morning runs, grabbing coffee with a date or just going for a stroll a man in a luxury high-rise had uncontrollable bowl movements which he released off his balcony on the 24th floor. Pedestrians below were sprayed with a downpour of fresh diarrhea.
According to the man who took the dump he just couldn’t hold it in. “I couldn’t hold it in any longer,” the diarrhea man said. “My wife was using our only bathroom and I really had to go. I had greasy pork last night and lots of beans. My stomach was just not feeling well at all. I panicked and decided the best place to relieve myself was off my balcony.”
“It was the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced in my life,” said a lady bystander. “I was headed to my spin class when suddenly fresh diarrhea started to fall from the sky. I had no idea what was going on.”
When the pedestrians below thought the carnage was done, the diarrhea man had another bowl movement and the spay of round two started. The diarrhea man stated that his wife was still in their only bathroom and he had to go again – really bad.
The man is being held in the local jail and being tried with lewd behavior. He could face up to four years in prison and a fine of $15,000 dollars.
- A Florida man chases people around Walmart with fresh turd from toilet
- Florida man arrested for launching filled diapers from catapult at moving cars
- Oil and gas pipeline owner deliberately dumps oil into rivers
- Man starts hedge fund, can’t find anything to hedge
- Genius toddler starts hedge fund at daycare
If you really enjoyed what you read, consider sharing the article! We would greatly appreciate it.
P.S. We are looking for creative people who enjoy writing. If you would like to write for us, please feel free to reach out.
Categories: Real News