2020 FinTwit Madness Round One – Commentary

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Listen up you filthy degenerates.  The official 2020 FinTwit Madness is happening now.  Round one was a doozy of a battle and Round two has just begun.

The heavyweight (over 600 pound) John W.B. Rich (Wealthy) was eliminated by tens of thousand Indian bot accounts as Parik Patel CFA took the lead.  John Rich was later seen acting like William Karaman, smoking K2 and drinking his sorrows away.

The Profit God used his Jesus magic to win against random account no one knows or cares about named Hiking Skiing by a wide margin.

The Real Fly over won against Julia Cordova. The Real Fly celebrated by tweeting useless point movements in the Nasdaq while only two people liked his tweet.  Julia was seen messaging Uncle Rico about a technical signal she just made up.

Uncle Rico beat Soccer Mom Trades then drove drunk through a school zone after pounding his 50th gin and tonic for the day.

Bad Econ Takes beat Jim O’Shaughnessy. No one cares who these guys are so we are just writing them off as an asset impairment.

Sarah Katilyn lost to Queen Wartooth.  No one voted for Sarah because everyone thinks she only has the left side of her face and is a robot.  Queen Wartooth is missing in action as she likely died from overdosing on K2 last night after hanging out with Will Karaman.

Stock Market Hats beat Wall Street Supply.  Stock Market Hats used his army of child labor in China to pull ahead.

Elmo’s Short Volatility Fund beat Retirement Right.  I have nothing to say about this as both of these accounts are Russian bots ran by Putin.

Jerome Powell beat Kenny Lay by printing an absurd of money when he was passed out drunk on the on a pile of Thai escorts.

Bag Holder Quotes beat Jedi Markus. Bag Holder Quotes reportedly used his army of Nikola bag holders to rig the election.

Ashley E beat Dereck Coatney after Dereck’s account got restricted by Twitter for being a Russian bot.

Doug Boneparth beat the Morning Brew because he has silver hair and the Morning Brew is just a coffee mug that no one cares about.

Rudy Havenstein beat Ross Gerber.  Ross Gerber was later seen making love to his Tesla while crying to Sweet Home Alabama.

Ramp Capital beat Stock Cats.  Ramp Capital is overrated and Stock Cats is much cooler so this was totally rigged and a recount of the votes is in order.

Eloise Williams beat Mr. Skilling.  People voted for Eloise because she promised to flash her very large chest to anyone who voted for her.

Chadford beat Captain Nasdaq.  Chadford’s dashing good looks and huge very large bank account definitely had nothing to do with the victory.

Who will win round two?  The answer is all up to you.  Get your votes in now.  The clock is ticking

Vote Here and vote now.  If you don’t vote you will be considered a communist.

 



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