President-elect Obama with Nancy Killefer, the new Chief Performance Officer, for his administration. The news conference held at the transition office in Washington, D.C. on Jan. 7, 2009. President-elect Obama with former Presidents Bush (41), Carter and Clinton and current President Bush at the WHite House on Jan. 7, 2009. (Photo by Pete Souza)

When I think of sex the first thing that comes to mind is the United States Presidents. You may wonder why? Well it is because I am old. I am actually 87 years old (means I might die soon) and I still remember when the Declaration of Independence was stolen by Nicholas Cage. Wow. That was a scary time. Well anyways, here are my favorite sexual images of YOUR favorite U.S. Presidents. By the way, number eight will shock you! 

Number One: Mr. Baberaham Lincoln

Source: Lincoln

Wow, if that is not stimulating to you I really don’t know what is. Look at the way his left finger lays on his thigh. Wow that gets me going every time. I would not mind being that chair. Wonder if he farted on it?

Number Two: Mr. Steady Eddy George Washington

Source: Washington

Mmmmm. My God would you look at those tights! George is even blushing in this picture because I bet the camera man is flirting with him. I wonder what kind of iPhone took this photo. It seems to have a little bit of photo-shop. That horse can’t even stop taking his eyes off George’s caboose.

Number Three: Ulysses (can’t spell his name correctly) Grant

Source: Ulysses Grant

Look how seductive Mr. Grant is in this picture. This gets my jimmies all worked up. I might have to have some warm tea and milk later to calm me down. His pockets are so tight and small he can’t even put his full hand into them. Wow, so hot.

Number Four: Harry Truman

Source: Truman 

If you look up stern but fair in the dictionary you are bound to find this picture of Harry Truman. Sometimes you just need a man who is stern and also fair. I wouldn’t mind getting sterned up on the starboard bow.

Number Five: William Taft

Source: Taft

OMG! I wonder if Taft called his mustache the “Taft Tickler”. I know if I was married to this hunk of man meat I would make him tickle me good night with that caterpillar. If you look close enough there might be a mouth under that stash.

Number Six: Martin Van Buren

Martin Van Buren
Source: Martin Van Buren

Can you say mad scientist? Sometimes I am in the mood for a mad scientist with thick lamb chops. Actually if check my internet history mad scientist lamb chops with no shirt on, shows up an awful lot. I can’t believe the photographer let this picture slide. This is so risky and racy. Wow.

Number Seven: James Polk

Source: Polk

Now if that isn’t risky I don’t know what is? Good God. This is almost as bad as all of the Instagram “influencers” showing pictures of their fake butt and boobs for likes. I think I can see nipple.

Number Eight: The Emperor Himself (Trump)

Source: Trump

You might have seen this guy on CNN news (he goes on there a lot). He also is a big fan of the New York Times. When I saw this picture I almost wet myself. The amount of skin and risk in this photo is unbelievable. It is simply astonishingly. I am getting so worked up right now I might have to sit down (I am standing). My legs are beginning to shake. Wow. So hot.

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