Problem tenants

Being a landlord can be rough. Not only do we have to deal with the endless reams of paperwork and vilification by the media, we are also left with the burden of dealing with the nation’s poors. Thankfully, here at The Stonk Market we have created a 5-step guide to dealing with problem tenants:

  1. Assert your dominance over your tenant. If your tenant is playing up, show them who’s boss. Every relationship requires work, and one of the ways in which you can re-establish a working relationship with your tenant is by reminding them that they are a poor and you are a rich (wealthy).
  2. Report them to social services for abusing their kids. Let’s face it, that single mother you’re housing just isn’t doing a good job raising her kid. Reporting her to social services would not only lead to a better life for her child, but will also increase her disposable income, allowing you to hit her with a handy rent hike.
  3. Turn off gas, electricity and water. If your tenant isn’t paying their rent, this is a very quick and effective way to get hold of their attention. By making the property uninhabitable you will force your tenant to either pay rent or live somewhere else. Either way, you ensure that the poor living in your house is paying their fair share.
  4. Liquidate their assets. If your tenant is clearly unable to pay rent, why should you be the one to suffer? One way to alleviate your hardship is to seize and liquidate the tenant’s assets. Things like televisions, iPhones and tablets can fetch a tidy sum on eBay.
  5. Set fire to the property. This seems like a drastic measure and should only be used as a final resort. It is an easy way to force your tenant to move somewhere else and also collect a hefty insurance payout.

So there you have it, a 5-step guide to dealing with those pesky poors.


  1. #2 works like a charm. Just the threat of it after you take 1 kid away can provide a nice rent increase. Can also put that kid to work, sweat equity.

  2. Simply wish to say your article is as astonishing.
    The clearness for your post is just spectacular and i
    could suppose you are an expert on this subject. Well along with
    your permission allow me to grasp your RSS feed to keep up to date with approaching post.
    Thanks a million and please carry on the enjoyable work.

  3. Hey there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site
    before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
    Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking
    and checking back frequently!

  4. Appreciating the dedication you put into your blog and detailed information you present.
    It’s nice to come across a blog every once in a while that
    isn’t the same unwanted rehashed material. Excellent read!
    I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including
    your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  5. Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Ie.

    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.
    The design look great though! Hope you get the issue fixed soon. Kudos

  6. I would like to thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this site.

    I’m hoping the same high-grade blog post from you in the upcoming also.
    Actually your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own blog now.
    Really the blogging is spreading its wings fast.

    Your write up is a good example of it.

  7. Excellent weblog right here! Additionally your site
    rather a lot up fast! What host are you the usage of?
    Can I get your affiliate link on your host?
    I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.