I didn’t make my billions.  I never started a business or patented a new invention.  I was born into this life and I didn’t choose it, it chose me.  I am a very slim minority in this country, underrepresented, hated, and now the money my parents gave me is being taken from me by reddit collusion.

All I hear in the news is “tax the rich and give to the poor” and “Hold the line against the Melvin Capital.”  My entire net worth is managed by Melvin.  I have lost over 50% of what I owned, and have almost become just a millionaire.

Who would not hate the idea of having their identity stolen.  I am a billionaire, imagine someone officially revoking your citizenship and claiming you do not belong in your home country.  Becoming a millionaire would be devastating.  I would not know who I am anymore.

These last two weeks have pushed me to the edge.  I am unable to cover the cost of my multiple mistresses jewelry desires, I have sold 4 of my Rolls Royces, and my fifth home is now too expensive for me to renovate.  I am basically destitute.

This may not seem so bad for those of you reading, but I have never known what it is like to not have money.  I don’t know how you all do it.  The thought of owning one home, or one car, is unthinkable to me.  I would feel trapped.  I had to buy angus beef and not wagyu recently to host my dinner party, and my father called me a “lowly peasant piece of sh*t.”

You don’t understand the pressure I am under in the billionaire community.  I downgraded to a G5 private jet, and my favorite mistress left me for Bezos’ cousin.  I got cucked by Bezos’ extended family, a man who is only successful by affiliation, because WSB Chairman decided he wanted to lead a peasant uprising.

Please, stop this attack on me because I was forced into wealth.  I did not choose how I grew up, cut me some slack and allow me to continue owning my 400 foot yacht.  I do not know what I would do without my things.  I do not live in comfort, I am constantly attacked by a need to keep appearances, play in super-high roller poker games, and eat ice cream with gold flakes on it.  Becoming a millionaire will shock me to my very core.

– Max Greene, Oppressed Billionaire