The infamous entrepreneur Adam Neumann is back and more ambitious than ever – he has plans to save America. Neumann’s newest startup envisions a more efficient, more dynamic, and more exciting future for bathroom breaks. WeWipe incorporates the same ‘WeGeneration’ philosophy that helped drive Neumann’s last startup, WeWork, to such incredible success. “It’s not just an ass-wiping company, it’s a lifestyle company,” he says.

The timing for WeWipe could not have been better. Fear of quarantines due to the impending coronavirus pandemic has caused consumers to buy and hoard toilet paper at an unsustainable pace. WeWipe will allow its customers unlimited access to  toilet paper, driving the retail demand back to normal and saving the USA from any shortage of tp. The service will cost an extremely reasonable $100/month.

Every WeWipe facility will consist of 20 “soul-stalls” that patrons can access for business purposes. Each stall contains a state-of-the-art toilet, an economically efficient toilet paper dispenser, an eco-friendly sink, a smart TV, a cold brew coffee machine, a tapped craft beer keg, and a Peloton.

Silicon Valley is hyped about the idea. “There is no one more qualified to disrupt the bathroom business than Adam Neumann,” a prominent VC president says, “he’s always been completely full of shit.”

SoftBank preliminary values WeWipe at 4 billion dollars. Expect the company to IPO within the next few months.

Source of Feature Image: The Conservation