Amazon unionizing

A leaked internal memo from Amazon recently revealed the extent the Amazon Corporation is going to avoid workers unionizing and having to treat their employees like humans. In a very short memo they state, “We at Amazon are prepared to troll any employees who attempt to unionize by utilizing our paramilitary forces to kill your entire family, dog included, so please stay in line and continue to put a big smile on your face when you come to the warehouses to put our customers products into a box for hours.”

Many employees were shocked by the bluntness of the email, but not surprised. An Amazon employee who wishes to remain anonymous said this in an exclusive statement to The Stonk Market, “Oh they aren’t joking, they just don’t care anymore, there have been several ‘disappearances’ of Amazon employees who try to negotiate better wage or attempt to form a union, Amazon has a secret military that is stronger than the armies of most third world nations.”