The Stonk Market is pleased to announce that Andy Fastow has won Financial Genius of the Century. This is a prestigious award that The Stonk Market only gives out to the brightest, most ethical and genius financers. We were pleased with Andy’s ambition to make money at all costs and hide liabilities so effectively. I personally have yet to see someone with the determination and motivation that Andy had to cover up losses, create profits from nothing and line his own pockets in the way Andy did.
To commemorate this award, we have created the Andy Fastow Scholarship. We urge all readers to visit this link and donate millions of dollars so we can teach young accounting students how to manipulate financials for their own gain. THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. We need more ethical and principled minds like Andy in the world of high finance.
It is a shame that Enron had to go down the way it did. Enron was a high-quality compounder. If it wasn’t for those pesky short sellers’, investors would still be compounding money at triple digit rates under the mind of Fastow.
The runner up for Financial Genius of the Century was Elizabeth Holmes. She would have won the award, but her voice creeped the hell out of me.
Source of featured image: Reuters/ Larry Downing