Among the pork in AOC’s new “Green New Deal” sex has been categorized as work which will bring millions of thirsty married men much needed stimulus as they have been devoid of sex for years. The Opinion Research Council at the University of Chicago noted that since 1972, the fraction of people getting it on at least once a week fell from 45% in 2000 to 36% in 2016. Astoundingly, as the government is sending out more free money, the out-of-sex men have jumped to nearly 100%.

Celebits, virgins, monks, and others have also joined onto AOC’s cause to support the dire injustice. As of now, all people are entitled to the same stimulus, but the over 40-year old virgin subsector has been pushing back as they have been the most marginalized.

This is a major tailwind to the upcoming SPAC / Playboy IPO as these previously out-of-sex-work men now have additional disposable income, in the form of unemployment income due to the lack of a sex life.



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