Wall Street – Today on Wall Street, Saudi Arabia reported an 8.2% stake in Carnival Corporation & Plc (“CCL”). Carnival Corporation is one of the largest cruise ship companies in the world with over 105 owned and operated ships. As a background reference, Saudi Arabia is a small desert county that has hopes and aspirations to own the largest pirate fleet in the seven deadly seas.
“The 8.2% stake in Carnival Corporation is the first major step to becoming the most dangerous and infamous pirates of the seven deadly seas,” spoke Abu Akbar, some random spokesman dude from Saudi. “We have already mounted thousands of cannons on these Carnival Cruise Lines and I have officially changed my name to Captain Blackbeard.”
The price of gold shot to historical highs on news of Saudi Arabia’s passive stake in Carnival Cruise. Analysts believe gold will continue to go higher as Saudi Arabi begins to bury gold – effectively reducing supply in the unknown islands of the seven deadly seas.
Captain Blackbeard stated, “we have ordered millions of plankboards, whiskey and gunpowder from the European Union. As newly stated pirates, we plan to launch a global assault on the seven deadly seas, sinking any ship we find. We are mean. We have pirate beards. And I am getting my leg amputated this morning so I can have the infamous peg-leg.”
It was rumored that Donald Trump floated the idea of building thousands of pirate ships to match rival Saudi Arabia in all out-pirate battle. Keynesian Economist Dewy Ditwit said, “building a fleet of pirate ships would increase GDP by at least 69%.”