Attention Starved Bridget Phetasy Gets Naked And Pumps Useless Penny Stocks

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Starving for the attention she so drastically deserves, Bridget Phetasy stripped down naked to pump useless penny stocks to her followers.  “Look at me!  Look at me!” a naked Bridget shouted from a disgusting brown couch that was obviously covered in leftover human excrements.

“$NOG is going to the moon,” Phetasy screamed.  “Mortgage your house.  Look at me! Sell your kid to the Saudi’s.  Look at me!  Do whatever it takes to raise capital.  Look at me! $NOG is the next Amazon.”  The video continued on like this, Phetasy screaming at people to look at her, while occasionally pumping $NOG.

However, during the last five minutes of the video Phetasy started drawing lines on a piece of paper explaining technical analysis.  5,000 married men tuned into the video for the “very good analysis”.

Despite the attempt to get people to look at her, sadly, only 33,000 people viewed the video.  Phetasy blamed the lack of engagement on “conservative censorship”.  But a random poll consisting mostly of drunken bums suggests, no one actually knows or cares who Phetasy is.

“Look,” a married man who hasn’t had intercourse in six months stated.  “Naked chicks are all over the internet.  What is so special about this one.”

Tough scene.  An extremely tough scene, Bridget.

 



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