Biden Covax

At a Group of Seven meeting, held by the leaders of the world’s largest economies, President Joe Biden announced the White House is throwing its support behind what has been described as a ‘global push’ to distribute coronavirus vaccines equitably, pledging $4 billion to the cause.

Covax aims to distribute coronavirus vaccines to low and middle income countries that have been cut out of a vaccine race by the world’s richest countries purchasing the majority of doses, leaving everyone else to wait.

“This was a no brainer,” Biden told the press on Friday morning, “You know, I would have done it sooner too—I hate that all those people were out there suffering without any sign of help. I just, erhm, well—this is a little embarrassing actually, but I guess I forgot that the whole Corona thing was going on outside of the U.S. too. There’s so much to do here that it just sorta, I don’t know, slipped my mind.”

The Presidential aides looked horrified by his admission.

“Man, if I had Dogecoin for every time I have heard someone at a briefing say ‘global pandemic,’” one Biden Staffer told me anonymously. “I know he has a lot on his mind… He has like three doctor appointments to get to a day—but still—this is worrisome to say the least.”

Donald Trump Jr., who eloquently compared refugees to poisonous skittles during his father’s presidential campaign, was quick to criticize Biden’s global action, telling the Breitbart News Network, “Of course, Sleepy Joe forgot about the pandemic. He’s probably been too busy bailing out his loser son. And let me guess: now the first thing he wants to do is vaccinate the Chinese? For their virus?! Welcome to the Democrats’ America folks.”

When asked if he was looking forward to getting access to the vaccine, Don Jr. looked dumbfounded, explaining he and “pretty much everyone he knew” had already gotten it—and he didn’t understand what the rest of America was “waiting for.”