In an battle of epic proportions that will definitely make the history books, Bill Ackman reigned victory in The Biggest Douchebag of FinTwit Tourney.
The competition for Biggest Douchebag on FinTwit spanned across a long and heated week. Battles were fought. Rivalries were created. And friendships were forged.
But as John Hempton stated so magnificently, the time for healing can now begin.
It is over. Bill Ackman maybe the biggest douche, but this is a night to heal the divisions of our nation. This is a victory for all FinTwit. I would like to thank my supporters, my family and all of FinTiwt for making this victory possible. Our National Healing can begin.
As with any heated election, the controversies and conspiracy theories are beginning to emerge.
Many FinTwit users are demanding a recount of the votes. These ‘conspiracy theorists’ are beginning to question the very fabric Twitter’s voting system is built upon.
“Ross Gerber is the biggest douchebag around,” a FinTwiter user stated. “The polls were rigged!”
One conspiracy theorist is beginning to spread rumors that the seeding of the brackets were biased. “Josh ‘Foot Long’ Brown should have won! He is a massive douche!”
Another conspiracy theorist is claiming that Bill Ackman himself, was buying votes so he could win.
And I’m sure as time passes more and more conspiracy theorists will try to poke holes through the integrity of the system.
But today is the time for celebration. Today we celebrate how big of a douchebag Bill Ackman, our hero and protector is.
To end this, I hold my glass up to all of FinTwit and everyone who participated. Cheers you degenerates! This one is for you!
When reached for comment Bill Ackman modestly refused to discuss the victory.