Bill Cosby

After the shocking news of disgraced comedian Bill Cosby being released from prison due to a technicality made headlines, the later news that he had been named portfolio manager of a gender diverse ETF shadowed that news.

Cosby, who was arrested for allegedly molesting dozens of women throughout his career, has now been seen as the best fit to lead an ETF tailored for companies with female CEOs. The Gender Diversity ETF has returned 70% gains since its inception but Mr. Cosby thinks they can be higher.

“70% in 5 years just isn’t good enough anymore in today’s market, retail wants 70% returns in a day.” Bill Cosby said, “As portfolio manager I am looking to completely shift our books to high revenue businesses powered by women. We are currently looking at acquiring whore houses in Las Vegas and New York which we believe can boost our yearly gains by 90%.” Bill Cosby added.

Former President Donald Trump congratulated Cosby on his release and called his idea for shifting the $SHE ETF’s directive ‘genius.’ “Mr. Cosby is a phenomenal man, one of the greats in comedy.” Trump said, “The crazy radical left tried to cancel Cosby, who are the real racists in this nation?” Trump added.