Cryptocurrency investors rushed Monday morning to stop the bleeding of their favorite “store of value” following a Coinbase user’s failure to check his wallet balance every three minutes. This event has been known to happen rarely, but typically only results in a 1-2% drop in Bitcoin value. Unfortunately for Bitcoin investors this time, the most recent oversight catastrophically coincided with both Anthony Pompliano and the Winklevoss twins failing to tweet the price of Bitcoin every five minutes. In the industry, this is known as a “doomsday crossing” where the major supports for the Bitcoin price, retail investor obsession and twitter personality engagement, simultaneously ebbed creating a vacuum for demand and cratering the price of the asset.
“This is truly a worst-case scenario playing out in front of our eyes,” said Barclays Chief Cryptocurrency Analyst Soulja Boy, “If only the Coinbase user had checked their wallet just 30 seconds earlier it would have stopped this whole sell off in its tracks. I hope this serves as a warning to any potential Bitcoin investors out there to never stop checking your balance.”
The identity of the Coinbase user that sparked the price plunge remains a mystery. Based on the timing of the drop, market researchers believe it was someone in the western hemisphere who slept through an interval of checking his wallet balance. The user likely has approximately $100-$200 invested in cryptocurrency. These cryptocurrency investors are colloquially referred to as “whales” given the enormous stakes they are placing in the high-risk world of crypto. Whoever it was, they most certainly regret forgetting to check their Coinbase app at some point during the middle of the night.
“It’s possible that if enough users check their balance at exactly three-minute intervals for the rest of the week, ideally while informing their friends on social media every time the price increases more than 0.5%, we may see Bitcoin gain back some of the ground,” continued Soulja Boy.
Whatever the near-term future of Bitcoin, the event is a sober reminder that in the age of crypto, obsessively checking the value of Bitcoin is a fundamental skillset of the crypto investor and cannot be overlooked.