BlackRock Robinhood
Image by Evgeny GoTown.ru from Pixabay

NEW YORK – Seeking to cut costs amidst a global pandemic, BlackRock Inc. (“BLK”) announced Wednesday that the entire firm had recently switched it’s stock trading platform to Robinhood.

“Despite what you hear Robinhood is actually an excellent trading platform,” CEO Larry Fink stated.  “I wish we would have switched platforms sooner.”

While other institutional managers have struggled with asset redemptions, BlackRock has pivoted towards the future.  The future and getting free stocks.

“Did you realize Robinhood offers a free stock every time you signup for their platform?” Larry Fink stated.  “Even better, they give a free stock for every new customer you refer to them.  We made a killing.”

Analyst estimate that BlackRock has generated over $1 billion in ‘other income’ during the current quarter solely from free Robinhood stocks.

“BlackRock has $7.3 trillion in assets under management and thousands of different accounts,” Haywood Jablomi, senior research analyst at Credit Suisse stated.  “These guys fleeced Robinhood with their ‘free stock’ giveaway.”

 

 



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