In what looked like would be a clean victory for Joe Biden, Trump has soared in the betting markets, taking lead in key states. Rumors have begun circulating that Joe Biden has gone directly to bed.
CNN pundits were seen crying under their desk why pounding shots of vodka and pulling out their hair. One political analyst on CNN even ripped up their political science degree on live TV.
Reports on Fox News show that Hunter Biden was ripping a line of crack off a strippers butt while singing the pledge of allegiance. And even the city of Chicago has raised the bridges to keep the poors out of the nice rich communities.
With everything going on, one thing is clear. THE FUTURES MARKET INJECTED A TON OF STEROIDS AND HAS THROWN YOUR MOM THROUGH THE FREAKING WALL!
