Tesla S&P 500

Fourteen year-old fund managers peed their pants in after hour trading when they found out Tesla will not be included in the S&P 500 index.  “I was playing Fortnite when my phone buzzed,” Timmy, a 14 year old fund manager stated.  “When I looked at my phone I immediately peed my pants.”

Instead of being included in the S&P 500, Tesla will now be included in the “Clown Index”.

The Clown Index is an index fund for companies with ridiculous valuations and accounting irregularities.  Companies like WorldCom, Enron, Nikola and Theranos are current members of the Clown Index.  Tesla’s inclusion into the Clown Index suggests the stock is at a top.

Tesla is down over 4.3% in after hour trading.  Thousands of 14 year-old fund managers peed themselves when finding out the S&P 500 inclusion was a dud.  Ross Gerber was spotted crying in a Santa Monica parking lot in the fetal position.