In an attempt to circumvent CDC guidelines around passenger operations of cruise ships, Carnival Cruise Lines announced today that individuals looking to cruise should proceed to coordinates 28°35’43.3″N 78°19’21.4″W to board. Upon investigation by Stonk Media into the mysterious location it was found to be a Space X autonomous landing platform located in International waters due east of Orlando, FL.
Upon arrival at the platform, Davey Jones of Madison Wisconsin was found marveling at the Space X landing rocket. “It was amazing watching that thing land as we rode in on this here shrimpin’ boat. But I felt horrible for that nice couple from Maine we watched get vaporized when that thing landed.”
Shrimp, bass and related fish prices have soared since the announcement form Carnival as every available boat from Charleston, SC to Key West, FL has gotten into the game of transporting tourists to the ship.