Cathie Wood Ark Vice

Cathie Wood just announced she has applied for the filing of another ARK brand ETF, ARK Vice. “The idea of this ETF is to allow people to invest in there degenerate habits so they feel good about it and can profit from it.” Wood said. The new ETF is comprised of alcohol, tobacco and weed stocks with the hopes to add prostitution once it is legalized.

Local high schoolers were asked if they would put there money in the ETF to which one senior named Geoff Daniels said “Hell yeah I’d invest in it nothings cooler than drugs and sex.”