Washington – “I was giving my fans a cam show, when suddenly I hear a bing,” Sasha Hernandez stated. “I looked over at my account and over one million dollars was injected into my OnlyFans account by someone called The Federal Reserve.”
Stories of the Federal Reserve injecting liquidity into OnlyFan accounts like Sasha’s are making waves across the internet. #federalreservebuysonlyfans even trended on Twitter this afternoon.
“I don’t know who this Jerome Powell guy is, but he sure must like my OnlyFans page,” said media sensation Stormy Daniels.
The Federal Reserve is an entity designed to prevent asset prices from collapsing. During economic downturns, the Federal Reserve lowers interest rates and buys assets in the financial market to give the economy a boost.
“This stimulus is the biggest and baddest economic injection we have ever done,” said Jerome Powell. “The economic injection into OnlyFans wasn’t an accident. This is our unique way of dropping helicopter money on the working class.”
Thousands of new OnlyFan accounts were recently created with hopes of free helicopter money. One account named “Jerome Powell is my Suga Daddy” has received over $5 million dollars and counting.