Wall Street – The CEO of Occidental Oil Exploration fell asleep on today’s fourth quarter earnings call.  “I asked the CEO how likely it was Occidental would become cash flow positive in the back-half,” a sell side analyst from Raymond James stated.  “That is when I heard snoring on the other line.”  

It took over ten minutes to wake the CEO up from his nappy time.  “I was waiting to key in for my question when I thought to myself ‘is he snoring?’,” an analyst from a major hedge fund stated.  “I looked over at my head trader when I realized the CEO was indeed snoring and told him to dump the fuck out of the stock.”  

The market almost immediately adjusted the value of Occidental Oil Exploration selling the stock off to historical lows.  At the trough the stock dropped over 75%.  When the CEO finally woke up he started the call over from the beginning like nothing even happened.  

Later in the day Occidental Oil Exploration released an 8-K saying the CEO has resigned for personal matters.  The stock closed at $0.69/share and crashed in after hours to $0.0420/share. 

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Source of featured image: Adam Dachis

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