China Announces Buyout Of Facebook

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CHINA – As global relations between the U.S. and China fall deeper into the grip of uncertainty, Xi Jinping announced Monday a buyout of Facebook.  “If we can’t own TikTok then we buyout Facebook,” Xi stated.

The China buyout of Facebook comes as global tensions between the world’s economic powerhouses debate over who should own the data of 10 year-old’s dancing.

China insists the dancing videos of preteens will “definitely” not be sold on the dark web.  While on the other hand, Trump is concerned everyone will see the embarrassing video Barron Trump uploaded on the viral app last Fall.

And to make matters worse, Kim Jong-Un, a 13% holder of Facebook and board member, has been mulling over a complete buyout of the social media giant.

Facebook, who has seen it’s earnings and revenues grow to record numbers was recently listed as an “Industrial” stock by Morningstar.  The reason?  Tech companies are not allowed to generate cash flow.



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