Chinese Engineers Look To Reverse Engineer US Treasury Money Printer


By Chadford Whitmore VI

GUANGZHOU – In a small factory located in the Panyu region of Guangzhou, a team of 30,000 Chinese engineers have been feverishly working on a top secret project named Qián DÇŽyìnjÄ« ZÇ’u Brrr, which roughly translates to “money printer go brrr”. Their stated goal is to reverse engineer a US Treasury money printer.

After recent events, these printers are now considered to have the world’s highest output per second. During a demonstration, team lead of the project Isteal Eyepee, was incredulous at the performance. “We have stolen intellectual property from every company on the planet, but we have never seen anything like this. This technology is not of the Earth.”

While it is highly abnormal for a foreign country to gain access to a US money printer, there has long been speculation as to just how this printer made its way to China. US Treasury spokesperson John Lieforaliving explained, “We realized the extra paperwork required to buy US Treasury Bonds was adding tremendous inefficiency to the process, so we gave China a printer to allow them to just print US dollars directly. Based on their past 30 year history of being an honest partner, we feel confident they will not copy the design.”

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