Square CEO Jack Dorsey and Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced that their companies will now be converting 10% of their companies’ cash balances to AMC shares, effective immediately.
“In the inflationary environment right now, AMC has shown remarkable resilience as a store of value. The management team at Square unanimously agreed to invest a heavy portion of our capital in AMC shares to hedge against fiat debasement,” said Jack Dorsey to the press.
Elon Musk of Tesla chimed in saying, “AMC shares are actually much better for the environment than Bitcoin, as AMC theaters haven’t used any electricity in over a year. While Bitcoin miners are burning an astonishing amount of fossil fuels, AMC’s business model is dead in 2021. Since the fundamental argument for crypto and AMC both boil down to ‘someone stupid will pay more than me’, Tesla has decided to invest in the asset that most benefits the environment.”
TheStonkMarket.com is a financial satire site. The site provides unique coverage on the financial industry, stocks, hedge funds and global markets.
Mission: To provide daily humor and make stonks go up.
We are currently looking for content creators who have an interest in financial humor. Please reach out if you have an interest.
Do you want to become a Stonk Market Genius? Do you want a higher IQ? Do you want the ability to pick up chicks from random bars just by mentioning how fast you can build a DCF Model? If you answer yes to any of these, consider giving your email to me! In just a few clicks your IQ will rise by 7,000 basis points, chicks will start messaging you back and you will officially become a coveted Stonk Market Genius.