This might come as a shocker to you. It might make you question the entire finance scene on social media. It might even make you quit trading those degenerate options you attempt to make money on. To make a long story short, Kyle Dennis lives in my basement and trades fractional shares of Hertz.
Here’s the thing, Kyle Dennis isn’t who you think he is. In fact, his name isn’t even Kyle Dennis. It’s Collin…Mr. Collin Forsecs.
You see, the entire, “I turned $3 dollars of my life savings into $3 million dollars” isn’t quite true. It’s more like, “I lost my entire $1,000 dollars I saved bagging groceries and ended up turning $3 dollars into $30 dollars, when I found $27 dollars on the sidewalk.”
But more importantly since 2017, Collin Forsecs has been living in my basement trading fractional shares of Hertz.
Look, I’m not trying to start a war here with Mr. Biotech Breakout. I’m not looking to get into a fist fight with Mr. Raging Boner. And I’m definitely not looking to throw hands with “I take annoying ads out and spam your internet activity wherever you go”.
No, it’s not like that.
All I’m looking to do with this post is to get Collin Forsecs to do his share of house work.
THE KID’S BEEN LIVING IN MY BASEMENT FOR THREE YEARS HAS NEVER DONE THE DISHES!
I’ve never lived with such a slob. There are half empty Steel Reserve cans scattered across the house. There’s a half-eaten bowl of Ramen Noodles behind the bookshelf that has turned black. I’m pretty sure Collin Foresecs has even been using my toothbrush!
Collin, I know you’re reading this. Please do your share of the house work. I am begging you. Once you start pulling your weight around the house I’ll take this post down and we can call it even. Then you can get back to trading your fractional shares of Hertz and pumping your stupid ads across the internet.