Disgusting Bigotry: Not enough Old Overweight Bald White Men on Public Boards

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A disgusting pattern of bigotry and racism in American continues as a new report cites only 99% of public boards are filled with old overweight bald white men.  “This is absolutely disgusting,” Ellen Voight, Gender Studies Professor at UCLA stated.  “I thought America was far past these patterns of disgusting bigotry and racism.  There needs to be more old overweight bald white men on public boards.”

The new report titled, Bigotry Seen Across American Public Boards specifically states how a mere 99% of public board seats are only filled with old overweight bald white men.  The report goes on to say how public board seats are now being filled with women, individuals of color and even transgender people. 

“If we don’t stop this pattern of repulsive bigotry in a hundred years only 98% of public boards will be filled with old overweight bald white men,” Ellen Voight said.  “We need to act now to protect our heroic overweight bald white men.”

The state of California plans to file hundreds of lawsuits against all public boards that do not contain 100% old overweight bald white men.  “We are going to do what is right,” a representative for the state of California stated.  “We will make public boards great again.”

A candle lit service will be held at UCLA tonight to pray for all old overweight bald white men who are not on public boards.

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