Economists who haven’t predicted anything correctly for the past 75 years confident in next quarters GDP numbers


The Federal Reserve – Leading world economists who haven’t predicted anything correctly in the past 75 years are “very” confident in next quarters GDP numbers and even have models predicting what GDP will look like in the next 100 years.

“I know we haven’t predicted anything accurately in the past 75 years, but we are quite confident our models will get GDP down to the fifth decimal point in Q2,” leading economist Dr. Harold Smith said over a press conference.  “In fact, our models are so good these days we are confident what GDP numbers will look like in Q3 of 2046.”

Dr. Harold Smith showed an example of what their cutting-edge models have predicted. 

“See these squiggly lines right there?” Dr. Harold Smith went on.  “Those are lines we drew with crayons that predict what consumer spending will look like in the next 10 years.  We are fairly confident these numbers will be correct.”

Dr. Harold Smith then told the crowd how their models have a ‘CRTL ALT Delete’ function so if things are wrong, they can just go ahead and change them. 

“Fudging the numbers is something everyone does,” Dr. Harold Smith stated.  “We wouldn’t be real economists if we didn’t fudge the numbers.”

The final slide at the end of Dr. Harold Smith’s presentation just stated ‘Stonks Go Up.’

“What we are trying to say is ‘just buy stonks’,” Dr. Harold Smith said confidently.  “GDP is going to grow because that is what GDP does. Growing GDP = buying stonks.”

More From The Stonk Market:

Success! You're on the list.