Elon Musk Death Education

This morning, Elon Musk announced the next steps in Tesla’s plan to imitate Google’s plan to disrupt the world of education, including the launch of new certificate programs that are designed to help people to bridge any skills gap and get qualifications in high-paying, high-growth job fields.

All without the seemingly necessary evil that is a college education.

Economists believe that these new plans could be a game changer for a growing number of people who consider the current educational system broken, or for the millions of Americans who are currently unemployed, but the two companies have taken slightly different approaches.

Google’s three core certificates will be in: project management, data analytics, and user experience (UX) design, while Tesla’s offerings are a bit more, well, specialized? The crux of Tesla’s course centers around effectively memeing your way into millions of dollars—as well as how to manipulate government subsidies, contracts, and officials.

The first module in nearly every one of Tesla’s courses teaches students how to capitalize on accessing your family’s vast emerald mining fortune.

The content of the course isn’t the only difference between Google and Tesla’s offering. While Google’s price point is shockingly affordable, coming in at around $250 with 100,000+ scholarships available for year one—Tesla’s requires students to pay in Bitcoin and the fees equate to approximately $15,000.

When asked if he really thought that this was a viable alternative to a traditional college education let alone Google’s model, Musk told The Stonk Market, “I could see why you might be skeptical—but understanding this course’s value requires a different, more forward way of thinking…”

Musk continued to talk but it was hard to make out what he was saying from the raucous, undying applause that erupted from his band of sycophants. The most telling piece of information came when he explained that whether or not Baby X would enroll in one of his courses one day was a “family decision.”