Elon Musk Reveals He Was Visited by Ghosts of Fraud Past, Present, and Future


CALIFORNIA – After a week of questionable tweets by tech visionary and Tesla CEO Elon Musk, Tesla bulls and bears started to ask questions about the motive behind Musk’s strange outbursts. Musk is usually seen as a voice of reason on Twitter, with no notable major outbursts about say, for example, what would be the largest leveraged buyout in history.

In a stunning move, Elon Musk tweeted a link to a 2,000-word blog post he wrote detailing how he was visited by the ghosts of fraud past, present, and future last weekend.

As recounted by Musk, the ghost of fraud past took the form of Kenny Lay of Enron, and showed Musk how SPVs were a much better fraud than Musk’s measly accounts receivable tricks. Lay allegedly told Musk to “do better.”

When the ghost of fraud present appeared as former Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes, Musk was whisked away to Theranos’ infamous faulty blood test devices. While Holmes congratulated Musk on his ability to deceive the public about his self-driving car vaporware, she added that he should consider a different impossible technology which could be adopted quicker and endanger more lives.

Finally, Musk was greeted by the ghost of fraud future: a ghostly version of himself with a clown nose on. No words were uttered between the two.

Musk revealed at the end of his blog post that he woke up disappointed in how lacking his fraudulent company is. This, he said, is why he tweeted that the stock is too high.

Musk ended his piece with the following:

“Until I can do more to deceive my own shareholders, this thing just doesn’t deserve to be where it is. Even my former apostle Greg Wester knows this fraud isn’t even exciting anymore. For the time being, I’m joining $TSLAQ. That means you’re safe to tell me exactly who you are and where you live TeslaCharts, Elonbachman, ElmerFudd, and the rest of you.”

Success! You're on the list.