Enron Oil & Gas Exec Promises Drilling Rock Is Not A Scam


Houston, Texas – There has been a lot of talk in 2020 about ugly balance sheets for oil & gas companies. It all seemed like another cyclical downturn until some highly qualified podcasters forecasted that the majority of public oil & gas companies will be going bankrupt. The Stonk Market’s senior reporter, Barry McCockiner, spoke with a few industry execs on the issue.

“I have no idea why anyone would ever suspect that we are conducting some sort of Ponzi scheme” said an executive of Enron Oil & Gas, who wished to remain anonymous.

Haywood Jablomie, representing the IR department of a Denver-based operator, explained: “We bought core acreage at the edge of the basin from a private equity backed company. They proved up 50,000 acres with 2 wells when oil was $100. Oil prices and economic locations have fallen by 90%, but our full cycle return is still 40% after you add 2, square it, and multiply by 10.”

“Our company has a solid balance sheet and will be one of the 5 independents that survive this, as long as the government intervenes and saves us” clarified the CEO of a Permian E&P based in Las Colinas, while taking a break between TV appearances. “And if we don’t make it through this downturn my golden parachute will essentially make me a very wealthy man.”

Written by Midland Mafia

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