Gamers Horrified After Tugging Toobin Opens Twitch Account

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Toobin Twitch

Exasperated by the sheer fear that Toobin would tug on his noodle during a Twitch stream, popular gamer Chelsea quit Twitch all together.  “There is no way I am hanging out in Twitch if Jeffery Toobin is on this platform,” Chelsea stated, flushed.  “That man is a lunatic!”

The once famed CNN analyst made headlines Monday when he “accidentally” tugged on his meat wagon during a Zoom conference call with seven colleagues.  Toobin ended up apologizing in the following statement.

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends, and co-workers.  I thought I had muted the Zoom video. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me.” – Toobin

But when things seemed like they couldn’t get worse for his reputation, Tugging Toobin took it upon himself to start a Twitch Stream.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” this really nerdy gaming kid with glasses and bad acne stated.  “I was mindlessly playing my nerdy game when suddenly everyone started flocking to this new Twitch channel called ‘Jeffrey Toobin’.”

Toobin’s stream peaked at 535,000 viewers, according to a Twitch spokesperson.  That makes the broadcast in the top ten streams ever on the website.

According the viewers, Tugging Toobin just sat there aimlessly, staring at his computer.  “I was highly disappointed,” a Twitch user stated.  “I was sincerely hoping he was going to crank one out for us, no homo.”

Photoshop credit to Kenny Lay



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