GameStop Investor Relations has just now released a press statement, citing that the GameStop Corporation has appointed Jesus Christ as Chief Short Burner, explaining what this role means.
“Our short squeeze isn’t done yet, our internal models suggest we should be a $4000 stock by EOY” said GameStop board member Ryan Cohen. “We believe with the appointment of Christ himself, this will invite a new base of consumers to our stores and stock, Christians make up the religious majority in the United States so this was a no brainer, we expect this to be a very profitable venture for both us and Jesus, should this work we are looking at hiring the prophet Muhammed.” Cohen added.
“I am thrilled to be awoken from my two thousand year slumber to help fulfill my duty as a deity via GameStop, burning shorts is my speciality, P.S. short sellers will not be seeing heaven, trust me,” Jesus Christ said.