Texas – After the breathtaking news that the United States Government weighted the potential to pay oil and gas drillers not to produce – thousands of fake oil and gas companies were created in only a few hours.
“Look, I don’t even know how to drill an oil well,” Bill Dundee, 45, of Denton, Texas stated. “But hell, I’m down to get paid to not to do jack shit.”
Literally minutes after the U.S. weighted the potential of paying oil companies not to produce any oil thousands of LLCs, S-Corps and Corporations were created with hopes of cashing in, for literally doing nothing.
“I started 15 oil and gas companies alone,” Pam Smith, 67, said. “This is like the gold rush for free money and I want in.”
Much like the unemployment and IRS website where you can check to see when you stimulus check is coming in – the registrar website for new businesses is running slow. However, you can browse through the millions of new oil and gas companies created in the past hour, here is a list of some of the funnier names:
- Bail Me Out Please LLC
- I’m Going to Use this Money to Short Energy Stocks Corporation
- Bailout Drillers
- Boy these Government officials sure are retards, LLC
- Ryan Sitton is my Hero Corporation
- Free Money Drilling LLC
The price of oil continued to fall despite the government’s attempt to nationalize the industry.
“The government can’t do anything right,” Nathan Blight, Oil and Gas Economist stated. “These idiot officials literally collude with OPEC to control the output and price of this commodity and they still can’t make it work. Look, if any other business was allowed to collude, they would make so much money.”
The lesson is clear. Anything the government touches will turn to a pile of shit that will put you on hold for 856 minutes.