The Mexico Border – Folks, it has happened yet again. More illegal immigrants have been let into our great raging country. You heard that right. More of those dirty no good…well you get the point. But this time they were not snuck in with the help of the nefarious ‘Coyote’ – the Mexican border hopping, illegal bringing, burrito making, lawn mowing, Qué saying, amigo who lives in his mama’s basement sneaking illegals into this country tis of thee.
No, instead the illegals who made it in today were let in by our “trusty” guards at border. According to very reliable sources, the guards at the border let the illegals into our country after the illegals gave them free tacos.
A witness at the border spoke to our team this afternoon saying, “ya know man, there we was. Just minding our business at the border with our guns. Wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Wasn’t a Mexican in sight. Then all of a sudden we began smelling the best smell in the world. It was like Taco Bell was in a pickup truck going 90mph down the sandy desert heading straight for us. Before we knew it, there were thousands, if not millions of Mexicans at our feet. We put our guns in the air saying, gettt the fuck out of here you dirty fuckers. But then, out of nowhere, these illegals started giving us tacos. FREE TACOS! It was heaven galore. So, we just let them waltz right into Texas. Who doesn’t like free tacos?”
News got out quick that all you need to do is bring free tacos to get let across the border. Rumor has it the US population has increased 10-fold.
Canadians at the northern border tried bringing border officers farts and queefs. Apparently, border officers don’t like getting farted on.
An illegal immigrant who snuck over the border had this to say:
“Yo tan cachonda, me encanta hace mucho tiempo, yo sucky sucky.”
None of us in the office no Spanish. I think she wanted to give me a free taco or something.