Jeffrey Epstein Doll
Source: BadMonsterToys, Etsy

Hasbro announced this afternoon that they will officially be launching the Jeffrey Epstein Doll to better reflect the billionaire pedophile demographic which is currently underrepresented.

“Culture has evolved,” Kimberly Boyd, Hasbro’s senior vice president of global brands stated. “Kids want to be able to represent their own experiences. We currently don’t have toys that represent future billionaire pedophiles and we think it is important to include all subcultures in our toy making.”

Thousands cheered the “woke” changes and took to the streets in celebration. “This is a wonderful day for future billionaire pedophiles across the nation,” Jemele Hill, an obnoxious woman stated. “If my child feels like they are or will be a billionaire pedophile in the future, that is their choice!”

Hasbro stock soared to record levels as investors viewed the new sales channel for billionaire pedophiles to be in the trillions. In addition, Hasbro announced they will be rolling out the Serial Killer Dolls in the second quarter, which is expected to have tremendous demand.