Warren Buffett Quotes

Warren Buffett has been considered the greatest investor of all time – besides Neuralink’s Pig.  And besides being known as the greatest investor of all time, Buffett is actually well known for his quotes.  But with so many Warren Buffett quotes out there it’s hard to keep track of them all.  Here are the best Warren Buffet quotes you have never heard of.

  1. If you want to become a great investor, you need to start drinking whiskey until you blackout.  My best investment ideas have come during my raging alcoholic fits where I punch several holes in my living room wall.
  2. The fastest way to financial independence is through the sale of your children to Wayfair.
  3. Don’t even bother understanding what beta is.  Only alpha’s like me get laid.
  4. The Federal Reserve is like your mother in-law, they both suck.
  5. If she stinks like fish run for the hills.
  6. The greatest investment is in malt liquor, not yourself.
  7. People who read books are total virgins.
  8. Don’t waste your time reading Ben Graham when you can watch educational videos by William Karaman.
  9. I don’t know why everyone is so obsessed with Berkshire Hathaway.  That is a garbage company, with massive off balance sheet liabilities and ran by two old men who can’t get it up.
  10. If you want to outperform in this market you need to get insider information.
  11. My price target for Tesla is infinity.  I arrived at this price target by banging my head off the wall until I had a concussion.
  12. The most efficient way to get a handsome incentive bonus at the end of the year is to fudge your returns.
  13. Lana Rhoades is the greatest financial advisor the world has ever seen.
  14. If she pulls out a greg run.
  15. Trevor Milton is the Isaac Newton of cars.