Hipster Trader: ‘I’m a actually grouchy boomer’

I freaking hate hipsters

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FinTwit – Hipster Trader, the popular personality on FinTwit announced today that he is actually a grouchy old boomer.

“Dude, I hate hipsters and I really hate Mumford and Sons with a passion.,” Hipster Trader stated.  “I don’t have a beard, I don’t dress like a hobo, I have zero tattoos, I’m not even sure what an Urban Outfitters is, and I actually like mainstream stuff.”

The Hipster Trader personality was created as a running joke in the accounting department Hipster works in.  “I’ve been an accountant for the same boring paper company for the past 30 years.  I started here with a full head of hair in my 20s.  I’m now down to these last Homer Simpson strands.”

To liven up the boring work week of being an accountant, the accounting team at the paper company Hipster works for each decided to each create Twitter accounts so they could tweet jokes to each other throughout the day. 

“I didn’t even know FinTwit existed until made fun of IFRS accounting standards one day.  Then the followers came flocking in.”

The followers came fast.  Hipster Trader went from being an unknown Twitter account to an overnight sensation.  “I was a little overwhelmed by the cult like following,” Hipster said as he drank his coffee that’s not from Starbucks but made himself.  “I kind of just went with it and decided to call myself Hipster Trader.”

Hipster Trader said he picked his Twitter name because he has a grandson who is a total hipster.  “My grandson looks like a flipping idiot.  He thinks he’s anti-mainstream but he’s so mainstream.  He’s a freaking beard having, flannel wearing, Alanis Morissette listening hipster weirdo.  I can’t fricking stand it.”

Despite Hipster Trader not being able to stand his only grandson, the Twitter picture Hipster uses is a picture he swiped from his grandson’s Facebook page.  “My grandson has no idea I have been using his picture.  If he finds out he is going to be livid.”

Today Hipster Trader is one of the most followed personalities on Twitter with over 55 thousand followers.  “If my followers really knew I was this bald, grouchy boomer…well I’m not sure what they would think.”

Besides being a boring accountant and a famous personality on FinTwit, Hipster Trader writes for the popular website called Market Crumbs.  According to the Market Crumbs Twitter account, Market Crumbs is bits of financial news bought to you daily. 

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